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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?